It is true and real that it has been a year full of learning that will accompany me for the rest of the years ahead. But I do not intend to make a conventional balance. It has been a point of inflection and rupture in many ways. I feel that I have deepened my own knowledge, that I live more consciously, that I have accepted and forgiven many things, that I am beginning to share and that, in some way, I have understood and repaired my immaturity and emotional dysfunctionality. Although that would give for another text (and not exactly brief). And I could highlight experiences such as the wedding of two of my best friends, new friendships, participating in an exhibition, travels, trainings, inspiring conversations, investments...
But if I have to keep the circumstances that have been the most challenging and have led me to the most extraordinary transformation, they would be: quitting my job and the knee injury.
In January I tore my cruciate ligament. A few months later, in May, I was recovering from the operation. During that period I finally decided to quit my job after a long leave of absence. A job in a large company and after 16 years. I was still walking with crutches, so there was nothing to stop me from continuing on leave. But I didn't. And that decision changed my life. Starting at that point changed every single one of my priorities overnight. There was no longer the option of going back to my job. I couldn't fall back on the satisfaction the sport offered me.
The first MRI, the second one, the date of the operation... Everything went by slowly and, in spite of trying not to show the disappointment that accompanied me during the first weeks, the setback was hard. It pissed me off and pissed me off in equal parts. At times I was overcome with rage, at others, I was blocked and saddened. Emotionally, it left me touched. But not crushed. So I not only accepted it, but I did not allow myself to feel self-pity. Overcoming is a human condition and I clung to it tooth and nail.
Being forced to stop pushed me to keep getting to know myself and to look (again) at my priorities, at what I really wanted. The only thing left to do was to look for new paths. And that's what I did. Although I have always asked myself questions, for the first time, they were accompanied by action. An action that involved, as I said, leaving my current job. But also to go and live near the sea, to recover one hundred percent, to come back stronger and to start a personal project in the work field.
I can't say that 2024 has been an easy year, but it has been a great teacher. It has accelerated a process that probably would have taken me much more time, effort and headaches. It has forced me to make important decisions. It has offered me intense teachings, self-improvement, strength and patience. It has taught me to transcend frustrations and fears. It has made me value certain things I took for granted. It has shown me that not everything goes as planned and that is why we must embrace the present and know how to let go of the reins. I trust a little more each time. And finally, he has given me a really valuable gift: to put myself to the test. I certainly needed it.
To this day, as the year draws to a close, I exercise, despite having gone through ups and downs in recovery. I am able to feel physical fatigue, a feeling I had forgotten. I want to think that I am building something beautiful that I had been doing for a long time. I value and enjoy more this journey that now, yes, I feel I have chosen.
I know that everything that has happened has been for the sole purpose of making me react, to really wake up. Because sometimes life gives us that last push and, if we know how to use it to our advantage, it will take us to places we never even imagined. And, although at first it seemed like a bitch, now I can only harbor gratitude and peace in my heart.
And to continue, because this does not stop.
2024... Goodbye and thank you.
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