To ensure and perpetuate a source of suffering, we only need to keep looking outside ourselves. Chasing happiness, success, or calm through achievements, recognition, money, or simply wishing that our surroundings were different will inevitably lead us to disaster. To an endless loop that can only produce frustration, sadness, despair, fear, disillusionment, rejection, guilt… I think you know what I’m talking about.
We are slaves to what happens in the world and in our own minds. And we believe that our internal state will improve if we change what’s happening around us. We spend our lives trying to modify reality to fit our limited way of seeing and understanding the world. This implies that anything we’re searching for is neither here nor now. Because something always needs to improve. Someone always needs to “behave properly.”
We are programmed and trained to think in this ineffective way. However, we also possess the ability to observe and question it, to notice the madness it entails. For starters, because the expectations we create for ourselves are, by nature, ever-changing and unattainable, they can only lead to an illusion of well-being. How long did it last the last time you thought you had found it? Sooner or later, whether due to fear of losing the source of our happiness or because we discover yet another goal to pursue, another imperfection will arise.
Conflicts are always present in different guises, but they share a common denominator: they do not carry true joy. The consequence is obvious: life slips away without us ever finding that ideal state. Our so-called problems don’t vanish. No state of euphoria or joy endures. We’ve turned our entire lives into an endless struggle and sacrifice!
If we realized all that we’ve missed in this relentless and futile search, perhaps we’d start elsewhere. For instance, by valuing and enjoying each moment and every process. Without objections or judgments. Because it’s clear that nothing external will bring us peace.
But the experiences we’ve encountered and those we’ve chosen offer constant learning. And for now, we will continue to have opportunities ahead of us. Consequently, at this point and with these reflections in mind, perhaps the most logical and natural thing is to try to redirect our efforts and begin looking within ourselves. Giving ourselves the chance to discover a refuge there will allow us to live differently, regardless of all the uncertainty and chaos around us. A place of invulnerability that is not governed by the noise our minds generate. A place of calm, of balance.
If we give ourselves permission to try, we might feel a certain inner disorder. It’s a new world, completely unknown. Questions will arise: What if there’s nothing to chase?; What if everything we’ve been telling ourselves is false?; What if what we believe makes sense actually doesn’t?; What if the source of our sorrow and disappointment lies in our resistance to accepting what we are meant to live in each moment?; Moreover, what if the person we’ve been building all this time is a lie and has no real purpose?
Each of us will have our own doubts surface. And while it may feel painful and beyond our understanding at first, the real answer to all of them is: it doesn’t matter. Truly, it doesn’t matter.
Perhaps all our work simply lies in accepting and coming to understand that wholeness is only here, in this moment. And that there’s nothing else.
Stopping and beginning to observe will open us to the possibility of perceiving our circumstances in ways we never imagined. Among other things, it will give us the chance to escape the endless loop of desire and anguish, lift us above what we label in our minds as a “problem,” and even grant us the opportunity to rebuild the person we want to be, from a different place. Who knows?
Knowing that there’s nothing to achieve, that we only need to discover what we’ve always been, is a relief. It’s liberating. A miracle. Is it worth it? You decide. Whatever you choose is okay. IT DOESN’T MATTER.
I’d encourage you to discover it. Always.
Nothing will ever be enough until we understand that we don’t need it to be.
Shine in peace.
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